Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

I had run out of hope.

Do you even realise that NASA could've hid or bury every single piece of evidence for a flat-earth and exaggerate their evidence? Have you ever question materialist scientific narratives?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Be who you already are.

Jenna Bush Hager Gets a Major Leslie Bibb-Inspired Hair Transformation on Live Television - instyle.com

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

I broke up with my boyfriend because he wasn’t transparent about his past, it hurts me and he doesn’t care. I told him in the beginning of our relationship that it was a deal breaker for me what do I do?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Renault CEO and architect of Alpine F1 project stepping down - The Race

It’s here now, writing to you.

And the sadness?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Have you ever really seen aliens or UFOs by yourself? Can you share your experience?

I was tired of fighting.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

How do you feel cockroach?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

What is your biggest mistake or regret?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

You are like me, then.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What if Homelander turned out to be a good guy instead of an evil milk drinking manchild? Nobody seems to touch on this much.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s still here.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Has anyone ever read The Holy Bible completely through? If so, what was your overall impression of it?

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

The sadness was still there.